My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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