i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
