somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
