I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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