i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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