We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
