Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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