sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
