so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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