Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
