I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
