Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
