what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
