mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
