thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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