i already hear my dad disowning me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
