Pants 0. Shit 1.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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