I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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