Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
