And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Life is so much better after having sex.
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I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.