Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.