I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
