I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet