We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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