he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize