I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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