Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
