my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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