did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
