Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
