You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
