So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
