left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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