I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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