THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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