i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
