my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
