its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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