the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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