I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
