what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
