is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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