She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
