The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
