I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
