Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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