so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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