We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
