Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
