you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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