Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
