As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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