I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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