Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
