i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize