her vagine was all disorganized.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
