I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
