Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
