As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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