I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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