Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize