Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
