my soul wont recognize me after tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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